#12 - October 7th

I had an amazing surf session.
Early Saturday morning, no crowd, decent 1.5-2m waves, perfect offshore wind.

Met later with friends, they ask about my morning. I say it was so good. "Nothing can ruin my day now".

While we're having a coffee I'm starting to get messages and videos about a mess in Israel. I'm thinking it can't be too much. Getting rid of my phone.
At this very moment, the October 7th massacres were happening.

Few hours later, back to the phone, more messages, news. Realizing what's happening. Not sure what's next. Everything seems surreal.

Inviting all the Israelis on the island to meet. Helping people to find flights. Trying to help those who lost friends and family to get support. SMS from the army - asking me to go to Israel and join the forces.

I'm in the last mile of building Coco Space, my life's project. Island friends telling me to stay, army friends telling me to come ASAP. Booking flights to Israel.

Airports, canceled flights, stuck for hours. More videos, people I know are injured, places I know burned down. Trying to figure out who's where.

Someone helped, I'm on a plane, made it to Israel. Meeting my parents and brother. Someone I never met volunteered to take me down south.

Army. Haven't seen that in years. Chaos. Gun, ammo, old friends. Gunshot. Someone shouts "Terrorists in the base", sirens. Loading the gun, running. Someone falls. Everything happens quickly.

Got new equipment, fixing and adjusting it. Some soldiers ask me to take them to train in shooting. Why me?, oh right, I'm an officer. Training hundreds of soldiers. Not sure even if they are from my unit. My commander calls me, he wants me to command a new team.

Meeting the new team, responsibility. Talks. Many of them have kids, they make sure I am not too crazy, they have family waiting for them back home. Some ask to leave, I let them leave. Some new people ask to join, we let them join. Good people. Brother of a friend just got killed by terrorists. He leaves for the funeral.

Missions. Driving through the villages, everything is burned. Bodies everywhere. Training. Big mission. Canceled. Talk with my team, making sure everyone's mentally ready, they are. Cancelled again. New mission. Success.

Gaza border. Explosions. Drone, we shoot on it. Explosions. Memories from 2014. Watch out for snipers, move quickly. Helping another force. Corpses smell. Human bones. Rockets hitting. Taking cover, look for enemy. Clear. Again. Again. More missions.

24h Break. Tel Aviv with friends. Contacting island friends who are taking care of the construction of Coco Space, they send photos, looks good. Checking my online businesses, my business partner took care of everything. Relief.

Back there. New mission. Learning, training, new people. Delay. More training, more ammo, making the most of it. Waking up 2 hours earlier to check on my apps, got my laptop and using a weak hotspot from my phone. It barely loads and anyway, it's hard to care about business and fix fucking CSS bugs now.

Big mission coming, I get the lead, responsibility. Training. Delayed. Weird dreams. More training. Cancelled for now. We've been replaced. Back to base. Everything still burned everywhere. Villages full of army forces. Weird.

I'm out for now, the Israeli active duty soldiers took over, most reserve soldiers are out. Trying to join another army company, didn't work.

Tel Aviv again. Family, friends. Stories. Tel Aviv feels more alive this time. Posters of Israeli hostages everywhere. Kids. Can't believe it's been 3-weeks Since I arrived. Back to the real world, social media. A lot of things. Most friends ask if I'm fine, some friends promote anti-Israeli propaganda, terrible feelings.

Visiting my grandma, she shows me where she's planning to hide if terrorists come. Weird dreams. Back to online businesses, gotta keep going. Getting updates on Coco Space. Thankful for my friends on the island.

Not sure what's next. My perspective on life changed a bit. Do I still want to live the same way? Build what I build and where I build it? I don't know. Maybe I'm just confused now. Let's see.